We plan our lives and make choices, more or less, and the daily emotions – happiness or sadness – that we go through are basically based on the outcome of the plans we set for ourselves and the choices we make.
We become ecstatic when things go our way. We become maudlin when they don’t. And this emotional pendulum goes on day in and day out.
Perhaps, this comes from the innate desire to control things. And no matter how spontaneous you claim yourself to be, there is still that minuscule yet strong desire to be in control that cannot be gainsaid.
We love to think that we have the free will to do things. The idea of self-determination wheedles us to make plans and decisions for ourselves and that’s good, but the same idea makes us unkind to ourselves.
You didn’t pass the exam? You didn’t get your dream job? Your romantic relationship ended? You made the wrong turn? You poured coffee on your favorite shirt? Your client did not like your presentation? You made a mistake? So what?
When things go “horribly” wrong we start being hard on ourselves. We blame ourselves. We get stressed and depressed. We hate ourselves. We forget to be kind to ourselves. We forget about all the efforts we made. We discredit ourselves.
Yes, we all have the ability to act at our own discretion but we also have to open our minds to the idea that things happen for a reason – the idea of fate. There are times that we are not in control and though we might not like the idea, this happens ALL the time.
You didn’t pass the exam? Maybe it was not meant to be. You didn’t get your dream job? Maybe it was not meant to be. Your romantic relationship ended? Maybe it was not meant to be. You made the wrong turn? Maybe it was meant to be. You poured coffee on your favorite shirt? Maybe it was meant to be. Your client did not like your presentation? Maybe it was meant to be. You made a mistake? Maybe it was meant to be.
Let’s enjoy the euphoria of our successes, of the plans and dreams that came true BUT we should never wallow on our defeats and mistakes. In this life, some of the people we will meet will be unkind to us. Let them be. But we should always remember to be kind to ourselves. Afterall, we only have ourselves in the end.